Here’s What You Really Need, Your Own Su-27

By Sanford Hughes
Military Affairs

So I'm scanning the internet, see, and I came across an announcement from Pride Aircraft of Rockford, Ill. offering not one but two Russian Su-27 jet fighters for sale.

Price, $4.95 million each, plus tax.

Holy @#$#, a privately owned, civilian Su-27, the plane designed to take on and defeat the American F-15 Eagle? It takes Russian students up to four years of constant training before they'll let one of their nuggets even sit in one of these rocket ships and, if you're rich enough, you can just call them up and, well, buy one. (Paul Allen, are you listening?)

"Contrary to persistent rumors, these aircraft have not been sold, and Pride Aircraft, Inc. does not have a pending contract with any Government contractor for the sale of these aircraft," the company declared on their website. "They are still available."

Both are Ukrainian-built two-seat "UB" models (NATO Code Flanker-C) with full flight instrumentation and controls in both cockpits. Now I saw one of these things perform at an airshow in Oregon a few years back, took the local mayor up for a ride. When they got back they had to help the guy out of the back seat.

I mean this baby went straight up on two sheets of flame, accelerating until it was out of sight. A few minutes later it sizzled across the bay, screeching like a cat caught in wringer, turned 90 degrees into a nine G turn, then flipped the other way, then back again, then pulled straight up and disappeared.

That mayor may not be out of the sanitarium even now.

With a 1,620 mile nautical mile range, heavy armament (you probably won't get that), sophisticated avionics and high agility, the Su-27 was designed to fly air superiority missions, but is able to perform almost all combat operations, Price noted, not to mention impressing the hell out of anybody not flying an F-22.

And, technically, you could keep it at, say, 3,200 foot-long Oceanside since it only needs 2,460 feet for takeoff and 2,133 feet to land on, although that 67,241 lb. max takeoff weight might be a small problem when it comes to taxiing. Come to think of it, I saw a Viper sink into the tarmac at Chino several years.

Okay, scratch Oceanside. We'll just have to build our own airport.

"These aircraft eclipse every other jet warbird in performance, technological sophistication, and 'wow-factor.' There simply is no comparison with any other aircraft you can own," the company declared and they're right.

In fact, that's the understatement of the year. These things are almost 72 feet long with a 48.2 foot wingspan and stand more than 20 feet high. You can walk from nose to tail underneath, standing straight up, and not hit your head.

They hold 3,163 gallons of jet fuel (each) and if you can find Jet A at $4.50 a gallon that's only $14,233.50 per fill-up. Chump change.

It'll be paid back when you slide that throttle past its detents and get the full 55,114 lbs of thrust from those two Saturn AL-31F turbojets in full afterburner.

Yeee-freaking-hhhaaaaaa!!!!! If you don't have a, well, "physical" reaction to that, lad, you should be reading The Pansy Journal, not this rag.

Imagine showing up unannounced at the Chino Airshow at, oh, 30 feet altitude, shrieking down the runway at Mach 1.5 in full afterburner, laughing at those pipsqueaks in their cute little propeller planes, then ripping across nearby March ARB's runway to pick up two F-16s in hot pursuit, a 180 back to Chino with Vipers at your six, and outrunning them! (Okay, maybe not their missiles but it's my fantasy.)

I can't help it, that's the way I think.

The first aircraft, nose #31, was licensed by the FAA as N131SU, and made its first post-restoration flight on Dec. 10, 2009. The other aircraft, #32, will be licensed and flying soon, Pride said.

"Both aircraft have freshly-overhauled (zero-time) airframes with zero-time engines, and have just completed extensive inspections and Westernization by skilled factory technicians," they said. "All cockpit markings have been relabeled in English.

"The aircraft have full IFR U.S. instrumentation and avionics, but retain every bit of character, pedigree, and performance they had in foreign military service."

To my knowledge, there are no supersonic fighters in American civilian hands, certainly not at this level. We're talking major warfighter, here.

Having had the extreme good fortune to have flown the T-33, the Folland Gnat, the F-4 Phantom and the F/A-18 Hornet, among others, I can tell you there is no thrill ride in the world anywhere near to blasting off a runway in full military afterburner, pulling the nose straight up and watching the runway behind you shrink quickly into a tiny little dot, rolling over and heading straight down while the Mach meter says, "uh oh," pulling out at six G's and ripping across the sagebrush at Mach .95 (officially, anyway) and 100 feet.

The wake behind you looks like that made by a cigarette boat, sucking up cacti, sagebrush, the occasional golfer and disbursing tons of sand into the ether. Get out over the ocean and do it and, from a distance, you look like the world's fastest speedboat, wake and all.

So all Pride has to do is find a couple of ex-high time military jet fighter jocks who got out and made billions, can afford the upkeep (figure three or four hours, maybe more, of maintenance for every hour you fly), and want to make a really big impression at their next airshow.

If you are on of those "serious, qualified buyers" (that lets me out) contact John Morgan at prideaircraftinc@aol.com or at (815) 969-7743. And they specifically warned they don't want no tire-kickers or "aircraft dreamers," which should mean the rest of you.